Forgotten Promises

These hills arise with great anger

these burning cities grow old,

your eyes they’re burning with fury

and old tales by mothers are told.

In cold nooks the hopeless hide

life they live as a burden,

waiting and doubting until they die.

Why do we take it for granted?

Sharp corners on every edge,

promises we make,

“Oh for gods sake!”

we never keep them.

Empty Places, faded faces

Why?

Because of your forgotten promises.

#InkedPerceptions

Society’s Throne

The scent of a rose is as fresh as the earth after its rained.

The sub aqueous colour, as red as boiling blood.

It’s thorns as sharp as the silver edge of a blade,

Still pretty as it withers away by the window,

Distressingly bidding farewell to the world.

Oh darling you’re a blossom, don’t let this society get to you,

They’re all the thorns.

#InkedPerceptions

 

Rusted Soul

They ache… all of them do

Some in agony and some in thirst

some survive , some face the consequences, and 

some… just die.

Sometimes it eats you away and sometimes it just haunts you…

You could spend so much time trying to fix it ,

trying to put the pieces back together not realising it’s tearing you apart

and when you do its too late…

Some days it whispers yes and some days it whispers

no just let me go…

Those times when you look into the eyes of the one you love and it just decides to beat and jump around again. 

You feel alive in that moment and just for that moment.

It used to believe in love but you forget things when 

you’ve been torn out and thrown to the ground… and 

you just think to yourself, ‘ What can I do?’ …it’s only a 

dying heart with a rusted soul…

 

#InkedPerceptions

The Illusion of Your Ego

Delusional minds lead to an illusion of your ego – Perfection.

We grow up in a society that’s full of perceptions of what’s perfect and what’s not, but our lower self always knows that every being is unique.

The thought crossed my mind as I walked through the streets of Versova Village. I wasn’t having one of the best mornings. I had just lost a job after just two days of joining and I was on my way to look for another but I felt hopeless. I had lost a dream that I had since I can remember. There were a million things going through my head. Why am I here? This isn’t what I had planned for myself. This isn’t where I am supposed to be. I felt like a pressure cooker ready to explode because I had planned a future for myself and it just wasn’t going my way.

The heartbreak was soon replaced by self-pity when I realised that I was comparing myself to other people in my family. How come my younger cousins were on their way to the life they had imagined? They were doing well at universities, all on their way to become doctors or lawyers and life was working out just fine for them.

Why me? This time i was questioning my choice of profession. Maybe I should’ve just chosen to do medicine or law as well, like the others in the family. I was a focused student, a head girl who achieved well in her studies throughout my high school and university days. I finished a three year degree in two years. I was keen to achieve & I had it all together in my head. Then why was I stuck? I felt lost…

And I realized the pain I was feeling wasn’t because my plans didn’t work out. It was actually my ego that was hurt because I was replaced from a job that I thought I was perfect for. How could a bright girl like me be rejected from something that I had dedicated all my time to? I know what to do and I am good at it. Then why was I struggling to be accepted by something I love so much, it means everything to me.

Suddenly I trip over something I didn’t notice and now there’s a plastic bag stuck between the strap & the buckle of my sandals. Great! I whispered exasperated ‘just what I needed. More mess’. I hear a chuckle behind me. I know it’s one of the kids playing next to the little grocery store and I think they’re laughing at my struggle to get the dirty bag off my sandals without touching it.

I turn around & I was right. It was the kids but they weren’t laughing at me. They were laughing amongst each other amused by the kitten that kept chasing a piece of cloth they had tied to a thread.  Suddenly I had memories of my cousins and I playing together with our dog Dollar and how we would wait all day for grandpa to come home and give us our 10 Rupees. He always did that & he too knew that we’d be waiting in his room so he had a note each ready to give away  as soon as he would enter. We’d go to the confectionery store near our house to buy our favorite chips or an ice cream & and then share them with each other once we were home. Life was simple then, we never planned anything apart from our usual junk food spree every evening. A usual game of pretend doctors or pilots was enough to keep us happy.

I started to think of what had changed over the years. Why wasn’t life simple anymore? I was constantly comparing myself to someone or the other  I wanted my life to be as perfect as their lives seemed.  But why wasn’t I able to do it? I had fed my ego to an extent that it had grown bigger than who I truly was as a person and I was constantly feeding it by comparing my life to everyone else around me, I was competing & I had to win. I was so busy running a race against everyone, I had forgotten what running with them was like.

I was distracted by my illusion of perfection; I was so busy dreaming of a future and planning it that I had forgotten to live in the moment. I had failed to recall a life outside my work hours and that life wasn’t all about planning ahead. What everyone is doing and has achieved is not the goal, life is about breaking your own limits. It’s about accepting you present and working towards a better tomorrow. You can never have a fixed plan for future because it changes constantly based on your present.

Your present is the only constant that should be valued. Never be afraid, of what’s about to come next. Let life flow. Let it take you to places that demand your presence. You’re there because you’re meant to be. Embrace the uncertainty. At times it will challenge both your heart and your mind. Be excited to see the wonders around you, because the eyes are useless if your mind is blind and your heart can’t feel.

This universe belongs to the magicians of energy, frequency and vibrations. So the next time you find yourself lost, look up at the sky, close your eyes, feel the warmth of the sun that shines its light and brightens the world every morning. Feel the breeze that flows through your hair and through everything else around you. Take a deep breath and start over. Find the purest place in your heart, let your ego go. And you’ll find your way, where you start to feel your hope again. Remember that there’s a magician hiding inside all of us.

Learning to recognize what’s best for ourselves and our vibes is a power we all have but forget about once our ego starts to play its part. We need to respect ourselves, dedicate ourselves to our vibes, guide ourselves to peace everyday and vibrate higher. Reclaim the ownership of our individual achievements instead of comparing ourselves to others. Once we do this we will be able to see through our own bullshit.

 

#InkedPerceptions

Boudless Again

A snap of a finger, a clap with the hands

Roaring loud sea waves hit the silent shore sand.

The roots from the mangroves holding on tight,

I hear the songs of the ocean, in the shining moonlight.

 

A sky full of stars, guiding our souls,

Finding the innocence, that being a grown-up had stole,

Salty sea breeze grazes the tip of our nose,

Reminiscing youthful summers & winter snows.

 

Countless 11:11 wishes that were made.

 Infinite paper planes & boats that we would sail.

From a young carefree children, to people we are now,

A life full of changes that we had allowed.

 

Adulthood constrained us from what we believed,

A sense of right and wrong limited us from being carefree.

We’ve had to lose to a lot, to keep what we’ve gained.

Disappearance of an innocence from the body that has remained.

 Let’s find those charming children before they fully abstain,

Seize the moment we have right now & be boundless again.

 

#InkedPerceptions

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chubby Is the New Black

Being chubby isn’t a big deal for a girl or women these days, especially with all the body positive talk and amazing body activists such as Ashley Graham. We’ve made quite a reputation around the globe for being cute as well as sexy with our curves, love handles included.

But ever wondered what being a chubby girl in Punjabi family feels like?

First of all I already think it’s weird that on some days I feel skinny and some days I feel like a busted carton of milk that’s been out of date for a while. And it sucks not being able to fit into your favourite jeans, what makes it even worse is that I live in a joint family full of doctors. My parents being the only ones who own a business, which unfortunately happens to be a few bakeries. So a casual comment or two a day about my beloved love handles, due to my lack of self-control over delicious hot bread is a common occurrence. Fresh hot parathas every morning for breakfast don’t really help either, but they’re worth the extra 20 minute cardio everyday so no regrets!

What’s interesting is that my family has somehow found a civil way to express their lack of appreciation about my eating habits.

Normally when you call someone healthy you mean it as a compliment. But my family and relatives or other Indians in general for a decade have decided to use this term to respectfully bring attention to the fact that the girl is slightly chubbier than socially accepted with in the society, aka she better lose some weight. General statements such as “aapki beti thodi healthy nai hai?” (Isn’t your daughter a little healthy?) “How will she find a man who would marry her?” are not rare within our families and our culture.

What I fail to understand is how is losing weight going to help me find a better man , and does the same rule apply to men?

Or is it that a chubby girl can’t find an equally chubby guy to marry and live a happily ever after with? Because honestly I see quite a few of them walking around every now and then. Maybe she can, and then they can have a “healthy “child together. That’ll give all the desi aunties something to talk about.

Or is it unrealistic to think that a fit guy can’t be interested in a chubby but cute and a seriously funny girl? Because I have seen many of such pairings as well.

What is so wrong if someone truly loves food & is happy with the way they are. I mean if someone likes a movie they enjoy it just like the so called “healthy” person enjoys their food.  Isn’t a plate of fettuccine better than a bowl of salad on a date? That is also something I have never understood.

Girls ordering a salad or soup on a date to impress a guy. Which mind you is usually followed by a kebab once the kale and lettuce torture is over and guy has dropped us home. What is so unattractive about eating a proper meal and enjoying it with a man?  

So why be the salad girl when you can be the pasta queen. Why refrain from ordering that extra piece of garlic bread because you love it. Trust me I have not known a single man who has not enjoyed being with a girl who knows what she wants, especially when it comes to long confusing restaurant menus. So go out and order that butter chicken and rice you’ve been craving, have a good time & just be in your element. It could be an interesting way to spice up your relationship with a man, literally & metaphorically. Show those desi aunties that you can find a man who loves you just as much as you love food because no man ever denied a bit of butter chicken. And if the chubby girl comments still continue to haunt you, you can always politely tell them to get a life! Because “Chubby” is the new black.  

Which reminds me, I haven’t had dinner so it’s time to grab my glass of wine & my plate of pasta that’s been waiting for me in the kitchen.

 

#InkedPerceptions

Boundless

I tell the truth but sometimes I lie,

I try and be happy when I see others cry,

You see moving water,  I see a vast blue sea,

That’s the truth of you & the reality of me.

 

You like a flower, you pick it,

I smell the whole gardenia, I feel its soul,

You focus on precision, but I focus on a whole.

You’re a cup of strong coffee, while I am a mellow tea,

That’s the truth of you & the reality of me.

 

You notice a small plant,

I see a growing tree,

You complain of where you are,

I see where we could be.

A glass of hard rum, a flute full of wine,

I feel with my heart, you think with your mind.

You’re focused on what it’s not,

I dream of what it could be,

That’s the truth of you & the reality of me.

 

#InkedPerceptions